Buying the Wedding Gown

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Product pricing and earnings updated May 9, 2007

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QUESTION: What do I need to know before I start shopping for a wedding gown?

The very best advice I can give on the subject of buying a wedding gown is to shop with a reputable salon or store. More tears are shed over the gown than anything else in the course of planning a wedding. Why? Because something somewhere fails to live up to the great expectations most brides have about how they will look on their wedding day. There are many options to consider when shopping for the elusive perfect dress. Unless you are making a purchase and taking it out the door with you, know the reputation, history, and expertise of the shop from which you plan to make your purchase- this is especially important if you are ordering a gown or plan to have alterations done there.

Getting Started

Bari-Jay Satin Gown
$178 Nordstrom.com

Nicole Miller Square Neck Satin Gown
$238 Nordstrom.com

Ask your recently married friends for their recommendation. Typically, they'll be very vocal about their experiences so this should help you determine which stores to include on your shopping trip and which ones to completely avoid. Your wedding planner, if you are using one, would be a source of good information, too. Most planners know the local wedding vendors very well. If you have to order a gown and wait the standard 16 weeks for arrival, you should also check with the Better Business Bureau in your town before you put down your non-refundable deposit. Chat rooms and message boards on the different wedding websites are a good way to gain information from fellow brides who have already purchased their gown and are willing to talk about their experiences, both good and bad. The down side? Merchants have been known to frequent some chat rooms. You may be getting biased information from a merchant posing as a consumer instead of a non-biased report from an actual bride. By using a reputable resource and doing a bit of homework up front, you can keep from experiencing the stress of a wedding gown gone wrong. By putting your wedding purchases on a dedicated credit card, you'll be better able to track your wedding spending, stay on budget, and most importantly, have some recourse if things do go wrong.

Shopping Online

Shopping online can be a fantastic way to get a great bargain on a designer gown, but it is not without drawbacks, either. Make sure you can handle the headaches (and heartaches) those shortcuts may bring. Ebay is one place to find deals on "gently worn" or never worn gowns, Many times, "gently worn" may not live up to your own definition of that overused phrase. Make sure to closely check the references of anyone you buy from online and be prepared to find that "gently worn" actually means quite used. Some name brand stores now have online wedding shops where you may find new gowns that are typically returnable if they don't fit or you don't like them once you see them. Nordstrom.com's online wedding boutique has a wide range of styles available along with accessories, etc. And this just in: our favorite gift registry store now has an online bridal department where you'll find everything from cute, fashionable gowns and veils to completely adorable bridesmaids gowns at unbelievable pricing. See wedding dresses from Target now. You'll earn Points

Boutiques, Salons, and Wedding Shops

Many brides start their quest for the perfect gown by either looking at images in bridal magazines or pouring over the online gown galleries at Brides.com, theknot.com and other sites on the Internet. Before you shop, go to the designer's website to look for the salon in your area. If you are still unsure if a retailer is licensed to represent a specific brand, call or email the designer to verify that the salon in question is authorized to sell their gowns. And find out if the salon is in good standing-meaning make sure they are currently paying their bills and are not on credit hold with the designer. If they are, this could delay the arrival of your gown. Don't buy your gown from a salon that is not recommended by the designer of the gown you want to purchase.

Most gowns take between 16-20 weeks to arrive once you pay your deposit and your measurements are taken. Anything longer than that may be a warning signal. Ask the salon for a confirmation of your order and a delivery date within a week of placing your order to insure everything is on schedule.

Make an appointment several weeks in advance. Popular salons tend to book weeks in advance for Saturday appointments. Look through the magazines to get some ideas. Take the pictures with you to show to the consultant and wear appropriate undergarments. The consultant will usually be in the dressing room with you and you'll be bearing a lot more than your soul to her as you try on gowns. Wear your hair (somewhat) styled and wear a little make-up. Don't show up straight from the gym and think you will like the way you look in a gown.

Be flexible when shopping and go with an open mind. Don't take too many friends with you; just one special person that you trust is sufficient. Too many opinions make the decision much more difficult. If you feel you must show everyone the gown, take them to a fitting once the gown has arrived. Be prepared to stay at least an hour or more and don't shop when you are tired, cranky, stressed, hung over, feeling overwhelmed, or hungry.

Having a Gown Made

This is an option but not one that I highly recommend unless you use a tailor or designer you know well or that comes highly recommended by a close friend. I have seen far too many hysterical brides with a custom made gown they cannot wear frantically looking for a replacement just weeks before their wedding. This usually occurs when they have used a seamstress or tailor they didn't know and asked them to copy a gown from a picture torn from a bridal magazine in an effort to save money. This usually doesn't save money in the long run and it is very rare that a seamstress can give you the quality of the original. It can turn out well but it can just as easily go wrong. Caveat Emptor!

Now, let's start with a round of questions to find out what type of gown you want, then, we'll help you shop for it. These are very important questions to address before you shop.

A-Line Trapunto Gown by Isaac Mizrahi
$159.99 from Target.com

Bari-Jay Scalloped Lace Halter Gown
$178 from Nordstrom.com

What is your total gown budget including undergarments, alterations, and sales tax?

The guideline is to allow approximately 5-10% of your total wedding budget for the gown and all the items you will need for it. Even a thrift store purchase or vintage gown may require extensive restorations, alterations, and cleaning. Make sure you get estimates before you make an impulsive purchase thinking you have just scored the deal of the century only to find out later that the alterations are going to cost more than the gown itself. It may be difficult to set a budget because a wedding gown is not something you shop for every day and most women have no idea what a gown costs. Luckily, there are a lot of choices when it comes to wedding gowns and you can find them in every price range.

It is easy to fall in love with a gown from a photograph before you even see it or know how much it costs. Be careful not to let your emotions blind your judgment when you start shopping for a gown. It is important to get an idea of what the gown costs before you rip out the photo and start carrying it around with you. It is hard to be open about styles when you get something so specific in mind. If you fall in love with a gown out of your budget, it may be difficult to find something similar in a lower budget. The style may be the same, but the fabric and construction will be entirely different which may result in an entirely different look and fit.

I have known brides who have fallen in love with a gown out of their budget because they tried one on 'just to see how it would look. That is a bad idea. The higher priced gowns have a better construction and fit, so it is upsetting for the bride to have to "settle" for a gown that is not her favorite. The moral of the story: set a budget and stick to it before you go to the first salon. Keep in mind that the extras-sales tax, undergarments, shoes, alterations, headpiece, and veil-may cost as much as the gown itself.

How many days/weeks/months do I have before the wedding?

How much time do you have before the wedding? At most bridal salons, gowns are cut by the designer once your order is placed with the salon. These special orders usually take 4-6 months to arrive in the salon. You can get them faster, but be prepared to pay a rush charge to expedite the process. There are places where you can walk in and purchase a wedding gown off the rack. These stores usually have gowns hanging on the rack in every size; you just pick one out, try it on, and take it home. If you have less than two months before the wedding, this may be the best option for you. The other option would be to purchase a sample gown off the rack from a bridal salon or look for a sample sale so that you do not have to wait the typical ordering time. Samples are usually size 8-10, (translation: tiny, really size 4-8) so this won't be an alternative every bride can explore. Remember, there are never exchanges or returns on wedding apparel or special orders, so you'd better be very sure you have THE gown. Check with the salon to insure that you understand their policies for placing an order or buying off the rack.

Where is the wedding going to be held? What month and what time of day? What will the weather be like? How formal is the wedding?

Where and when the wedding will occur should be taken in to consideration when selecting your gown. For example, a shiny, beaded gown with a long train would not be appropriate for an early morning casual garden wedding- but if that is your sparkling personality, go for it! Before purchasing your gown, think about the total look of the wedding. From the decor of the venue, flowers, lighting, and time of day, all elements of your vision should be taken into consideration as you embark on your search for the perfect gown. There is no right or wrong choice here. Try to relax and enjoy your search in finding a special gown that envelops your own personal style for your wedding.

Do you already own an accessory such as a headpiece, antique veil, jewelry, etc. that you want to wear?

If you are lucky enough to have a special accessory-like an heirloom veil or headpiece-you would like to wear with your gown, take the item when shopping for the gown, especially if it is an older veil that has been stored away for a long period of time. Carefully package it and take it to your appointment. The color does matter. A very white gown will not look right with an antique veil; they should blend or coordinate as closely as possible. Designers offer gowns in every possible shade. From ivory, cream, champagne, to antique, cafe or gold, it is easy to find a shade that coordinates the veil with the gown if the consultant knows from the beginning what to work with.

Now that you have asked yourself some of the crucial questions, you are ready to begin your search for the one article of clothing that you will never forget. Your wedding gown will inspire memories that will last a lifetime.

There are thousands, maybe millions of wedding gowns to select from and each one can be more beautiful than the next. It is easy to become overwhelmed and confused. Build a rapport with the consultant and listen to her advice. Many brides have purchased a gown they hated on the hanger once they put it on. Read my article "Wedding Gown 411" to get an education on wedding gown styles and shapes.

uTANGO earnings opportunities mentioned in this article include:

Nordstrom.com: Earn 5 Points per $1 spent

Target.com: Earn 3 Points per $1 spent

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