Long Distance Relationships

Is a Long-distance Relationship For You?

Sometimes the best dating advice is to expand your geographical horizons. Especially if you live close to a metropolitan area, you may benefit from placing an ad online or in that metro area's newspapers. At least in the early stages of getting to know people, your pool can expand significantly giving you a greater chance to find someone who's right for you.

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Once you begin to correspond, you both can switch off meeting in your neighborhood and his/hers. That way, you'll both have a lot to share, including doubling the options for places to meet!

As your relationship progresses, you'll need to discuss the option of moving to your partner's location, having him/her move to where you are, or keeping the relationship at a distance. Take a realistic look at what you and your partner are able to handle. More individualistic couples see distance as a healthy way to keep things fresh, while those who tend to see coupledom as two people becoming a single unit will have more difficulty with distance. Find out where you and your partner stand to avoid miscommunication about your future together.

Married couples who are forced to be separated for lengths of time often become depressed and frustrated with their relationships. You can avoid this in a number of ways:

• Establish phone dates where you call each other on a given day at a give time.
• Remember birthdays and anniversaries! This means so much more when you are not able to be together.
• Send letters. Yes, letters. Take the time to put your feelings in your own handwriting. The extra step goes a long way.
• Whenever possible, pay surprise visits to your spouse. Make an event of it, perhaps picking your husband or wife up from work or be waiting for him/her when s/he comes home. Then go out for a romantic dinner.

With a little effort, the time apart can seem almost negligible. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

A difficult part of any relationship is deciding when to, or whether to, be monogamous. A good piece of long-distance relationship advice is to set aside some time to have a conversation with your partner about realistic views of staying faithful while you're apart.

Early on in a relationship, it may be unreasonable to expect that your partner should stop seeing other people. You may opt to keep dating, but not have sexual relations with others. Alternately, you may decide monogamy is not possible at this point in your relationship. However, if you decide to give the long-distance a try, make a date in a few months to reassess your relationship. Above all, be respectful of your needs as well as your partner's. That respect is the core of any good partnership, regardless of where you both live.

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