Quiz: Will You Make a Good Mom?
Sure you like kids--but that doesn't necessarily mean you'll be a great mom. Let's examine the different things that make a good mom and see how you match up!
1. True or False
I like order and predictability. When there is too much mess or something I didn't plan on happens, I get pretty upset.
A. True
B. False
2. If my children want to do a lot of after school activities that require driving them around a lot, I will
a. Drive them myself, carpool with a neighbor, or turn into a chauffer if necessary
b. Ask them to pick activities that are within walking distance
c. Tell them to confine themselves to two activities so that it is a reasonable amount of driving
d. Have them confine their activities to things at school or where the school provides transport
3. If a child of mine was continually causing trouble in the classroom, I would
a. Assume that the teacher was the problem and investigate him or her
b. Ask for a conference with a school counselor and see what was going on
c. Take my child to a psychologist for an analysis of his or her behavior
d. Change schools for a better fit.
4. If my child wanted to play a tough contact sport like football or basketball, I would
a. Object and not allow it.
b. Allow it, attend the game, and pay the medical bills if necessary
c. Allow any of them but cut it off if my child got hurt
d. Try and work with the coaches to make the sport less dangerous
5. When my authority is threatened by a child I tend to
a. Get angry
b. Do a withering crack that puts the challenger down
c. Try and find out what is bothering the child and negotiate a compromise or at least understanding
d. State my position and what their costs will be if they cross me.
6. If my child has a friend I do not like I will
a. Not allow that child in my house and forbid my child to see that person
b. Give my opinion about the child, but not get in the way of the friendship
c. Give my opinion about the child, but only get in the way of the friendship if I think drugs, violence, truancy or some other serious problem is being encouraged in the relationship
d. Move schools if I feel the relationship is really threatening
7. True or False
I have a tendency to spoil my pets. I overfeed or have trouble correcting them. If I don't have pets, I have trouble drawing boundaries with friends or acquaintances. I feel like I get taken advantage of a lot because I am afraid not to be likeable.
A. True
B. False
Correct Answers
1. B
2. A
3. B
4. B
5. C
6. C
7. B
Give yourself 5 points for each correct answer.
Explanation of Questions and Answers
1. True or False
I like order and predictability. When there is too much mess or something I didn't plan on happens, I get pretty upset.
B. False
The answer is B, you better get over it! Kids are the opposite of order and predictability. They leave their toys all over the place. They change their mind ten times a day. If you get upset with them, you are just getting upset with appropriate developmental behavior. You need to have patience and understanding--and not assert your needs on the average kid's sloppiness and flakiness. 5 points if you answered B.
2. If my children want to do a lot of after school activities that require driving them around a lot, I will
a. Drive them myself, carpool with a neighbor, or turn into a chauffer if necessary. The answer is a. Today's kids have activities all over the place- and if you don't give over a certain amount of your life (or your husband's) to getting them all over your community, (and often, other parts of the state- or even other states) you will stop them from being in activities that are essential for their happiness and development. A good mom knows that a lot of raising a child will be on their schedule--not yours. 5 points if you answered A.
3. If a child of mine was continually causing trouble in the classroom, I would
b. Ask for a conference with a school counselor and see what was going on
The answer is b. Most parents have some run in with their child's school over their child's behavior. Blaming the teacher or changing schools before trying to solve the problem with the school's help is a bad model to set for your child's life. It is natural to be defensive, but a good mom overcomes that. She doesn't over or under react. Under most conditions, she works with the school to see how best to help her child. 5 points if you answered B.
4. If my child wanted to play a tough contact sport like football or basketball, I would
b. Allow it, attend the game, and pay the medical bills if necessary
Kids need sports. And they need to take the bruises and even some of the broken bones that can happen in contact sports. Sports help kids learn teamwork, courage, commitment and discipline. If a mom is overprotective, a kid will miss learning important individual and team skills. Being overprotective is no favor to your child. 5 points if you answered B.
5 .When my authority is threatened by a child I tend to
c. Try and find out what is bothering the child and negotiate a compromise or at least understanding
Kids will always challenge a parent's authority. That's in the kid's bill of rights. If you tend to get high and mighty when a child is not respectful or says you are wrong or you don't know anything, you may be able to compel compliance--but you won't build communication or understanding .Good moms know that they have to pick their battles and not try and win every confrontation. 5 points if you answered C.
6. If my child has a friend I do not like I will
c. Only get in the way of the friendship if I think drugs, violence, truancy or some other serious problem is being encouraged in the relationship.
The peer group is the most important influence on a child's life, especially as they get into the pre teen and teenage years. You hope they make good choices-but if they don't, it isn't good to micro manage their life. However, a mom has to be knowledgeable about who their kid's friends are-and what kinds of activities are going on. A good mom watches, networks with other parents, and finds out if their child's friends are in any serious trouble. She stays out of picking and choosing her kid's friends unless she knows there is dangerous behavior going on. Then she intervenes--even if she gets flak from her child. 5 points if you answered C.
7. True or False
b. False
I have a tendency to spoil my pets. I overfeed or have trouble correcting them. If I don't have pets, I have trouble drawing boundaries with friends or acquaintances. I feel like I get taken advantage of a lot because I am afraid not to be likeable.
A woman who will do anything to make people (or pets!) like her is not ready to be a mom. A mom has to be able to be a disciplinarian and know that her child is angry with her--and still not give in. Spoiled children never learn essential rules of respect for the rights of others, and of consequences for improper acts. A push over mom is a mom who isn't mature enough yet to do the hard thing-- even though it's better for her child. 5 points if you answered B.
If you scored 25 to 35 points
Start taking your basal temperature! You have great maternal characteristics. You don't have unrealistic expectations and you aren't a pushover--but you are ready to give your time and heart. You understand what children are like and are ready to have one of your own.
15 to 25 points
You are mom material--but you need a few more realistic expectations. Kids aren't always what you hope they will be--and you need to be very mature to give them what they need--without overdoing it. You'll be ready eventually--but not quite yet.
0- to 10 points
You're just not ready! Kids need a lot more, psychologically and physically, than you are ready to give right now. You also need a little more time understanding when to hold your child accountable--and when to show compassion and care. Read a couple of books on child psychology and sow a few more wild oats. When you get ready to give more, and understand the limits of your control over a child- you will be ready to be a mom.
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