Dating with Kids

Introducing a Partner to Your Children

Many singles with kids wonder, “What’s the best way of introducing my children to my partner?” One of the best ways is including the children into your lives together. The first step is to tell your children about your new partner. Let them ask questions about him/her as well as about your feelings about him/her. After you’ve established that initial set-up, here are a few ways to organize a simple first meeting:

• Invite your partner to dinner. This will allow the kids to feel comfortable in their own environment.
• Bring your partner to one of your children’s activities such as a ball game, a dance recital, etc.

Let your kids plan a day out for all of you. Whether they choose a day at the beach, a picnic, a zoo, or theme park, it’s a great way for kids to become active in the meeting and feel more a part of your new life with your partner.

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Dating when you have children at home is a little more difficult to navigate but it doesn’t have to be impossible. If you’re searching online, most online dating sites give you the opportunity to state that you have kids. You can search for partners who have children and/or those who don’t mind (or even prefer) that you have them. If you are “offline” dating, or dating by meeting people on your own, it’s a good idea to mention that you have children early on. Mention it in context, however, choosing an appropriate opportunity such as sharing that you like to take your kids to the movies on the weekends, what grade your son/daughter is in, etc. Since your children are very much a part of your life, it’s not too much to expect that any potential partner will be happy to have them be part of his/her life as well. If that’s not the case, it’s best to know sooner than later.

Once things get more serious with your new partner, you will need to establish rules for privacy. Including your partner in your life with your children is just as important as creating time for the two of you to be alone. When you discuss privacy with your children, be sure to remind them that time alone with your partner does not mean they are any less a part of your lives. Explain to them that when you and your partner have private time, it’s like recharging your batteries. That way, you both have more energy to give them when you’re together.

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