Divorcing and Starting Over

Taking Time After a Divorce

If you are recently divorced, take the time you need to readjust to single life. Some people relish the time alone they did not have when they were married. For others, it helps to stay active by spending time with family and friends. You may feel pressured by those close to you to get out and start meeting new people. Keep in mind that while the people who love you are looking out for your happiness and best interests, it is entirely up to you to decide when and if you are ready to start dating again. In the meantime, remember that whatever time frame your healing process takes, you need to do what is best for you.

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For some people, being married becomes a convenient way of life. After a divorce, it may seem as though you’ve been thrust into a world that is entirely unfamiliar to you and one that you don’t want to become accustomed to. Dating again, then, seems like a natural response -- and there’s certainly nothing wrong with meeting new people. But try not to date with remarriage as a goal. Be sure to take time to establish yourself as an individual before you enter a serious relationship again. Discover who you are without a partner. Give yourself time to uncover parts of your individuality that you may never have known existed. That way, when you do meet new potential partners, you’ll have a solid foundation on which to build a new relationship.

After a divorce, moving on to new relationships can seem a little scary. You can make the transition easier by attending social events such as:

• gallery openings
• sporting events
• wine tastings
• theater performances

You may also consider signing up for continuing education classes or seminars. This is a great way to meet people with similar interests. Don’t attend any event or gathering with the expectation of finding a new mate; think of it more as a way to expand your personal and social horizons.

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