Online Dating

Online Dating Etiquette

There are a few rules to online dating etiquette that both men and women should adhere to:

• Keep your initial introduction brief and friendly. Mention something about his/her specific profile that intrigued you. No one likes a form letter as a first contact!
• If you get a response, write back within two days. If you don’t, do not write back. Don’t get discouraged; move on.
• Don’t get too personal too quickly. Stay away from conversations about your ex, your health issues, or generally anything negative.
• Ask insightful questions about your potential date, but don’t dig too deep.
• Exchange at least three emails apiece before you request a phone number so you can chat by phone.
• Once you have communicated by email and phone, you may decide to meet in person. If you take this step, make sure you always meet in a public place, inform friends and family of your plans and perhaps even ask someone to accompany you on your initial meeting.  
• If you are not interested in someone, be polite in your response. Thank him/her for his/her message and wish him/her well in his/her search.

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When making a decision about which online dating websites to join, take a few things into consideration:

• How long have they been in business? (Tip: Older sites have had time to create a reputation and are a better choice.)
• Does the site allow you to browse profiles before you join?
• Will your email address and personal information remain confidential?
• Are you offered a free trial before you purchase a membership?
• Will you pay for a monthly unlimited membership or purchase points/credits per contact? (Both can be fine choices, depending on your activity level.)
• How accessible is customer service if you need assistance?

Finally, before joining any online dating site that requires you to pay a fee, be sure any monetary transactions are secure.

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When creating an online dating profile, above all else be honest! It may sound great if you say you’re a Shakespearean scholar or that you’ve climbed Mount Everest, but sooner or later the truth will come out. Online dating has the advantage of expanding your selection of potential mates, so there’s no need to embellish; you’re more than likely to find a great match just as you are. Also, be sure to add a recent photo. Photos increase your chances of being contacted, but if you put up a profile photo that does not match how you look today, once you meet your date face to face, s/he’s going to feel duped and all your work in communication will be lost.

Sometimes the rush of online dating can lead both men and women to think that they’ve found their perfect match very early on. Remember to stay realistic. Many of us are able to construct wonderful email correspondences or even have hours of great conversation on the phone. However, if you are looking for a long-term relationship, you need to factor in one very important element: time. It takes time to establish a solid foundation between two people. Pace yourselves. Take the time to get to know each other without expectations toward the future. Enjoy whatever time you spend together and let your relationship – wherever it may lead – unfold naturally.

Online dating is a fantastic way for two people to meet who might not otherwise have had the chance. But how easy is it to find someone who synchs up with you in perfect harmony? Probably not as easy as it seems. Although it may seem obvious, don’t go into the world of online dating assuming that simply because the pool of potential mates has reached global proportions your true love is just an email away. Many men and women use online dating as a place to make friends, others are looking for soul mates, and others still just want to have a good time (i.e., are in it for the sex). Trust your instincts. Never overlook a red flag. Consider the proportion of people now available to you online as a reason to hone your needs in a mate. Be positive...and patient. Even if you don’t find your true love, you may meet some amazing people who will be great friends.

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