Single Parenthood

 Role Models For Kids

Raising kids is not any easy thing, even for two parents. When you are a single parent, avoid the pressure to act as both the mother and father in the household. This is an unreasonable expectation, and one that will eventually burn you out and stress your child unnecessarily. Seek out role models for your children who can balance what you bring to their lives as a mother or father. If you are a mother with a son, know that he will need male guidance at some point. Same thing goes for a father raising a daughter; she will need a woman’s influence at some point in her life. If you don’t have a friend or family member who can provide this support, consider a community program like Big Brothers/Big Sisters or enroll your child in a sport or arts activity that will provide gender-appropriate guidance.

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If you are a single parent, you must ask for assistance if you need it. Remember that child support can come in many forms, and from many people. Typically, child support means that the father of the child pays a set amount on a monthly basis to provide for the welfare of the child. Many fathers are willing to do this without legal action. Regardless, it’s a good idea to have a lawyer draw up an agreement between you both. If money is not an option, consider getting support paid in time. This support can come from either the father or any family member or friend. In other words, have someone available to look after your child for a few hours every other day so you can tend to your own needs, even if it’s just to take a bath, go shopping, balance your checkbook, etc.

An essential topic of raising a child as a single parent is joint/sole custody of your child. If you and your former partner decide to share custody, you should both see an attorney to establish a viable schedule for all of you. Even if you or your partner has opted for sole custody, you will need to decide on whether or not visitation rights will be granted. This agreement, too, should be drawn up by an attorney. Regardless of the type of custody you and your former partner share, include your children in the decision-making process whenever possible. If they are old enough to express themselves, you need to take their desires into account when arranging for their care. These desires may not be the final decision, of course, but listening to your child’s needs is vital for the long-term health of your family.

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